Mama Felicia Jolaade’s actions were profound; I found not a word that could capture all she was. Talk of sacrifice? She lived her whole life making sacrifices for others. She served, wanting nothing but the joy and comfort of others in return. I have washed her sold her goat to support a relative, just to mention a few. To give up her comfort was never to be thought twice about. She went all the way, not knowing when to stop. Above all, her children’s welfare comes first. She was not of the school of thought that a child has grown old enough to be left alone. I just could not understand how my old woman (Mama) would cook and send it to her children nearby, even at such an old age. Her food was always giving the best satisfaction anyway. There is no bias in her display of love for her children, thriving or not. Even if there is a bias, it will remain glued to the weakest. The grandchildren were never left out. I remember my brother telling me the story of how grandma excused him from his entrance examination for a refreshing plate of Yam and stew, or was it a well-prepared bowl of ‘Obe Iba’ (fever soup) sent to him in school?
How about self-care? Oh, she never joked about her health. Medical checkups were part of her routine. How she managed to keep track of her next doctor’s appointment amazed me. Education was never a barrier. If she could not read a thing, she kept it until her children came to visit for a proper explanation. She will ask, “Take a look at this card; what date is written there for my next hospital visit?” Finding our way around the hospital with people calling me Grandma’s baby used to be my favorite part. Well, I will not forget to mention that she could be funny sometimes. Taking a taxi with her to the hospital or going to the market with her thereafter used to be my not-so-good part. Starting from the ridiculous beating down of the transport fare when I knew she could afford it to the extreme negotiation at the market I learned to always hold extra cash to save the day anyway.
What an exemplary leader she was. What is good leadership without discipline? Waking up as early as 5 a.m. when my grandfather was alive and it was her turn to cook, she would wake us up as early as 4:30 p.m. At other times each day would begin with prayers and end with prayers. We could not escape these prayer times as long as we stayed with her, and as little as we were then, she would make us all say our prayers before catching up with hers. I remember she would mention all her children’s names, both far and near, in those prayers, addressing their present challenge or situation. Well, as for me, I silently get my updates from there. She will then spend the rest of her day in the kitchen. Once we are done eating breakfast, we are washing the pot for lunch. She would give us time to go play with other children on the condition that we come quickly to check on her, because we don’t keep to our own side of the agreement, knowing that any sighting of us automatically means the end of our play time. There will always be one thing or another to do. As for my brother, his play time ends when it’s time to eat, which is why he’s usually the one looking forward to us spending our holiday with grandma. Again, a day would never end without grandma looking for her bunch of keys. Trust me when I say no peace until the bunch is found, most often in her underwear or her chair.
Bold, brave, and courageous. She could handle anyone—I mean anybody. She never gave anyone room to control her. Never be caught weak. Speak of hard work. She was a jack of all trades. She was a smart money woman till death.
Talk of being current? Always aware of the current happenings in her environment. She listened to her radio very early in the morning and late at night. I remember she would call us at times, instructing us not to go out based on one issue or another in town. ‘Don’t walk at night, ‘she would say. Politics? Yes. She follows them all and casts her vote when it’s time.
What is there not to miss about her? My pen bleeds, so much to be said, an icon left. Such a hard act to follow, but still, we pray for grace to continue with the good legacy left.
Goodnight Mama. Your Kuyede misses you already.
Oluwadamilola Komolafe Idowu